Right before I was diagnosed, in 2015, I was waking up around three times a night. I’d do most of my writing from 3 AM to 6 AM, which was great for
Medium, but terrible for my health. I was always tired and my nights were filled with dread.
These days, I tend to wake up once or twice a night. Better, but not perfect. Something’s changed, though: Now, when I wake up with a racing mind, I’ve learned how to untangle it and lure it back to sleep. I reach out a hand a pet my dog’s soft fur, feeling her deep breathes, following them with my own. I use
visualization exercises. I am committed to waiting out my nervous mind. I observe my mind, then I figure out a way around it or through it.
These days, I fall back asleep.