Reckoning with the merry-go-round

Hello friends, Are you experiencing post-holiday glow? Are you gleefully bidding goodbye to the socia

Beautiful Voyager

December 26 · Issue #2 · View online
Finding flow every day.

Hello friends, 
Are you experiencing post-holiday glow? Are you gleefully bidding goodbye to the social scroll of Christmas traditions? We’re not allowed to get too comfy, though. The FOMO-inducing holiday in a party hat is getting ready to bat at the end of this week. I’ve had luck avoiding him by pretending I’m asleep. Works every year. 
Can you avoid the timestamp, though?
For those of us who cobble together cultural traditions as we go, the holidays act as a timestamp. The merry-go-round rounds the bend, forcing us to face what changed this year.

Mary Poppins jumped off the merry-go-round. #queen
The Reckoning. 
Earlier in life, fearing the cost of others’ disappointment in me (I didn’t think I could afford hefty price tags like lost relationships or jobs) I stayed in fixed, contorted positions to please others. In the past couple of years, physical pain in my body forced me to overcome this contorted pain in my head. This was The Reckoning. All of the terrible, awkward, beautiful vulnerability I’d stuffed down was forced up. I’ve had to learn to slowly speak my unpopular opinions (example: anxiety doesn’t make them better at their jobs or going live on Facebook to see if I could and to show others they can.) At first, it made me gasp at my own gawkiness. It doesn’t as much anymore.
When I look at the 2016 timestamp, I am grateful for the relationships that have survived The Reckoning and am grateful that you are reading this. 
Three Simple Things to Say to Yourself Dealing with The Reckoning
1. “What other people think of me is not my business.”
2. “Don’t compare.” 
3. When you feel yourself starting a sentence with the words “If only…” drop the rest of it. Example: “If only I could…oh! dropping that.”
Love, Meredith
Best Thing I've Read Lately
Speaking of Dick Van Dyke
Creativity as a Way of Life
From Invisible Illness on Medium
Did you know that I edit a Medium publication called Invisible Illness? Here’s an FAQ I put together about how to submit a story. Would love to see what you’re writing and thinking about!
My stay in a mental hospital was pretty chill
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