Earlier in life, fearing the cost of others’ disappointment in me (I didn’t think I could afford hefty price tags like lost relationships or jobs) I stayed in fixed, contorted positions to please others. In the past couple of years, physical pain in my body forced me to overcome this contorted pain in my head. This was The Reckoning. All of the terrible, awkward, beautiful vulnerability I’d stuffed down was forced up. I’ve had to learn to slowly speak my unpopular opinions (example: anxiety doesn’t make them better at their jobs
or going live on Facebook to see if I could and to show others they can
.) At first, it made me gasp at my own gawkiness. It doesn’t as much anymore.
When I look at the 2016 timestamp, I am grateful for the relationships that have survived The Reckoning and am grateful that you are reading this.
Three Simple Things to Say to Yourself Dealing with The Reckoning
1. “What other people think of me is not my business.”
2. “Don’t compare.”
3. When you feel yourself starting a sentence with the words “If only…” drop the rest of it. Example: “If only I could…oh! dropping that.”