Rejection's hard. Self-doubt? Harder.

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Self-doubt is the ultimate second arrow.  
 
February 19 - Issue #8

Beautiful Voyager

Finding flow every day.

Self-doubt is the ultimate second arrow.  

Hey everyone,
I hope you’re having a good weekend. I’m recovering from a tough week of work transitions (startup norm) and a surprise rejection on Friday. 
As a result, I’ve found myself slipping into old patterns of thought.
When I feel I’ve failed, I clam up and start spinning internally. I question…everything. “Were they right? What could that have meant? Something similar happened once before. Does that make their thoughts about me valid?”
This is a great example of what anxiety feels like on the inside: abstract questioning and a lack of firm ground underfoot. 
Man, does it suck.
The New Ratio: One Thought, One Action
Those of you who know CBT will recognize this.
How I’m dodging the second arrow. When abstract thoughts and questions flood my brain, I create a grid like the one above on paper. 
In first column I write down the negative, abstract thought to make it clearer, e.g. “My skill set may not be what I think it is.” 
The second column is there to help with perspective, e.g “Here are 3 examples of your skill set in action.”  
The third column connects thought to action, e.g. “Rewrite bio on personal site to reflect what you know to be true.”
Rejection sucks, but self-doubt is poison.
3 Steps To Keep Moving Through Self-Doubt
1.  Recognize self-doubt is a learned behavior.
2. Use concrete examples to ground your thinking.
3. Don’t question longstanding beliefs. That’s fear talking, not reality.
Love, Meredith
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