Space, the final frontier.

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"If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the rig
 

Beautiful Voyager

August 21 · Issue #21 · View online
Finding flow every day.

“If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the right way."—Bill Murray

Hello my dear bvs,
Happy solar eclipse. I don’t know if I’ll see it myself, but I look forward to all of your photos of weird shadows and strange skies.
My husband and daughter are out of town visiting family. I’ve been home alone, enjoying solo time for the past 5 days. It’s felt so good that I’m getting greedy. I want the equilibrium I feel now along with my two favorite people in the house.
Sharing space with others—even the people you love most in the world—comes with compromises. Last week I came home from a long day at work to find that my daughter and her friend had set up a shop in the room where I meditate and write. They set out folded piles of clothes and shoes, taping “price tags” to the wall. Did I revel in the adorableness of it all? Alas, I did not. 
This is what I felt.
I felt space invaded, and I kind of freaked out (only my husband was there at the time, but he wasn’t into my stress reaction). I’m not proud of the behavior. I don’t like the part of my brain that wants everything to stay in its place. I wish I could zap it away.
This is what the zapping might look like.
Sadly, that’s not how brains work. We can shape our minds by focusing in new directions, but it takes time and lots of patience. 
The desire for space reminds me of Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own. I wonder if Woolf’s need for space was underscored by her mental illness.
Today I’m looking for balance. I might need alone time to find it. I’m trying to be cool with that.
Sending you all good vibes this Monday morning,
Love, Meredith
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