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Two words that helped me.

Two words that helped me.
By Beautiful Voyager • Issue #42 • View online
The words you speak become the house you live in.“ — 14th century Persian poet Hafiz

Hello fellow BV,
My anxiety peaks in the morning when I wake up with nervous energy and the desire to clean the house. It’s worse some days than others. No amount of anxiety knowledge (or cortisol tests) has given me the peace I seek, nor allowed me to answer the question that haunts me: Why?
Why am I anxious in the morning? Why is it worse today? Why can't I figure it out?
Why am I anxious in the morning? Why is it worse today? Why can't I figure it out?
A few weeks ago the morning agitation felt worse than usual. While manically scrubbing a counter, I said to my husband, “I just don’t know why I feel this way. Everything is going well. I am happy at work. I am happy at home. Is this hormonal? What is this?”
In his inimitable Buddha-like way, he just said, “You ask that question a lot, but in seeking an answer, you’re just causing more more anxiety. It’s chemical. It’s just how you are.”
Getting under the waves.
Getting under the waves.
It’s chemical.
I felt a sense of calm flood my body when I repeated those two words aloud. It stopped me from spinning and gave me a clear path to acceptance.
If Hafiz is right, and words are the house I live in, I want my house to feel like I did the moment I said, “It’s chemical.” I know I’ll be coming back to those two words again and again.
What about you? Do you have a simple phrase that helps you when you’re stuck in the spin? Email me. Let’s share what works with each other.
Love, Meredith
Love, Meredith
Responses to the Last Newsletter
The most recent Beautiful Voyager newsletter, entitled seeking sleep, was about pre-bedtime rituals. I loved getting your emailed responses and hearing your own own tips and tricks for sleep. Here’s one:
I plug in my headphones and cue up a funny movie or tv show on my phone, usually one that I’ve seen a million times so I can easily fall back asleep to it.  Then, when I wake up at 3am (as I do every night) I tell myself that a) I get anxious every night at this time, it’s not because something is actually wrong, but rather it is a habit. Every night I wake up to use the restroom, then suffer from anxiety for anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours. But now that I know it will happen, I accept it. b) All I need to do to distract myself is listen to something light-hearted as a distraction. I know that I almost always feel better in the morning.
I also heard from you about the topics you’d like to learn more about, for example, anxiety and anger. One reader writes,
My GAD presents in rage sometimes…at not being able to control a situation, at not being successful at stage managing a moment to show everyone what I want them to see. I think it goes back to the link between anxiety and the fight or flight response. I’ve been in a position where that response has kicked in….not related to anxiety….and I can firmly say my flight response is healthy and well adjusted. But when the GAD gets to be overwhelming, I get that adrenaline dump. And since I can’t identify a path of flight, my mind and body go to fight. Common sense says I should take up boxing or some such thing, but the GAD/perfectionist/fear of being judged blocks it. But yet I have to start moving or I literally shake with…..the only word I think is right is rage. I’m not angry, it’s something else. It’s panic with an overwhelming need to…what?? How to other people describe this?? Help me better explain myself??
If you have thoughts for this reader, email me! I love being able to share your good ideas with other voyagers so we can help each other.
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Last but not least...
Why Are Young People Pretending to Love Work? - The New York Times
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